PDH

What is PDH, you ask? Pretty. Damn. Happy.

Here are some MK running updates:

Last weekend, I ran my first run without pain. It was 3.5 miles on the treadmill with Joe sitting and watching in a folding chair in my basement. I was ecstatic. And he's an amazing boyfriend.

Like a race spectator, except not.

Tuesday before leaving for my family vacation, I ran 6 miles outside. Now folks, this is the farthest I've run since my BQ in January. And once again, it was WITHOUT PAIN! I don't know what felt better - crossing that finish line or finishing this run... (okay, you caught me, it was crossing that finish line [honest blog]).

After the endorphins wore off, the over-analyzing set in. I had taken Ibuprofen that morning prior to running. I was EXTREMELY concerned that those pills were the reason I felt no pain - not because I was actually healing. Trust me, I know the issues that arise with taking anti-inflammatory meds before working out, including blocking important pain receptors needed to know if you're injured and to warn you to stop. Silly MK.

Well anyway, I decided I was going to run again on Friday and make SURE I did not take any drugs.

Enter second concern: upping distance.

Do I want to run 14 miles right this very minute as I'm typing this? Yes.

Do I need to realize I haven't run these ANY distances in months thanks to nerves, hips, and IT bands, and do I need to increase my mileage slowly? Yes and yes.

Enter third concern: speed.

So, humble brag, I'm thrilled with my speed. Thrilled. I've apparently not lost that much, and even with the addition of summer heat, I'm performing really well. Hmm, okay MK, the reason you got hurt in the first place was because of your tight IT band from always wanting each run to be faster, faster, faster. Cool it on caring about the speed.

Subtract concerns two and three.

Friday came around, and I was nervous as hell. I went out...

...and ran without meds and without pain.

4.15 miles for the 4th of July weekend of 2015 (ha, get it!?)

I'm PDH x 19,020,238,230. And the praise goes to God.

Tell me about your return from an injury!

Therapize Me!

Not a word, whatev.

I've been through physical therapy for longer than some, shorter than others, and I've learned some things - figured I'd share the wealth! Maybe some of these bullet points can save one of you from potential physical and financial pain...

• Foam roll. Please. Keep things loose and flexible. I don't think you need to roll everyday for 30 minutes or anything, but it helps to occasionally get on that baby and squirm.
• Some stretches require long holds, other stretches are more active and more "pulsated," if you will. A good rule of thumb in my opinion is that if it is an INTENSE stretch, do repetitive holds for 5 seconds. 
• An interestingly large amount of discomfort can stem from your lower back. A lot of nerves are attached there, and you can experience tingling, burning, pain, and/or loss of feeling from your hips down to your toes from bad posture. 
• Girls - weird things happen during our time of the month. We get pressure in our lower backs from menstruation, thus possibly leading to the aforementioned issues.
• As I said here, a good indicator of a healing injury isn't necessarily the lack of pain during exercise but rather the recovery time afterward.
• If you have to sit, maybe take a rolled towel and place it behind your lower back. Keep that gap - look like a C pointing away from you; don't form your body into a slumpy forward C!
• On that note, bean bag chairs are apparently the devil.
• Recovery isn't linear. You'll have good days and bad days.
• DO NOT GOOGLE. This is something I'll admit that you should do as I say and not as I do. Googling leads to A) the belief that you're dying, B) stress, and probably the worst offender, C) comparison. Just because so-and-so recovered from IT Band Syndrome in 2 weeks doesn't mean that you will. Everyone's recovery journey is different, and reading message threads about others' adventures (disasters?) could end you in a funk of extreme discouragement and negativity.
• Trust your therapist. They are trained to help you! 

Disclaimer: I'm no doctor or therapist, just a recovering recreational runner with her fair share of medical bills ;)

Hope you all had a great start to July!

Running Flashback #2

In honor of #ThrowbackThursday, here is yet another running flashback. As with the other flashback, I wrote this a while ago, and here are some snippets from my injured marathon!

" [...] I spiraled downward after that, over-thinking every little twitch in my knee. I spent the hour+ drive up in prayer with my eyes closed. “Please don’t let the pain be that bad…”

[...]

The remainder of the night was spent in a jaded, numb stupor. I was so sick of thinking about my knee, so sick of worrying about this marathon; I just wanted to go to bed. So we did, but apparently the rest of the hotel didn’t get that memo. Our lovely neighbors were up until our alarms went off.

[...] I downed some oatmeal and Nature Valley shrapnel and taped up my knee. Naturally, I began worrying if I’d taped it correctly. I was silent the majority of the way to the race. My attitude was almost the exact opposite of my giddy self before the New River Marathon.

Things started to turn around after we parked. The hushed excitement of my fellow pre-dawn runners was contagious, and I began to feel ready. The starting line was extremely well-organized, and the MC did a great job. Joe was beside me until the last ten minutes when I began merging to the middle. I was right by the 3:35 pacer in order to try to qualify for Boston (a still unattainable feat at that point).

The gun went off[.] [...] My knee felt fantastic, and I started smiling.

The next few miles were really good. My knee started acting up, but it was nothing like what happened a few days ago on the treadmill. I knew if it stayed at that dull throb, I could do this. I was behind the 3:35 pacer a bit, but since I didn’t cross the starting line right as the clock started, I knew my real time would be a few seconds behind. I could still sprint ahead at the end if I needed to pass the 3:35 runner. I enjoyed these miles for the sheer joy of running. This part of the race was around a beautiful community situated on a lake. The houses were gorgeous, the spectators were enthusiastic, and the signs were hilarious (ex: Run like someone just called you a jogger!) I felt amazing. I was running outside again! No longer sentenced to a treadmill, this was the kind of running I lived for.

[...] Then all of the sudden the sharpest pain went through my knee. It was fleeting, but it brought up the worry I had been wanting to avoid. If this pain is coming now, will it get worse exponentially throughout the remainder of the race? Nothing to do but push on. The 3:35 pacer and I played tag for a while. He’d get ahead, then I’d get ahead, and it messed with my mind. Could I hold this pace? Did I go out too fast? I started thinking about my fueling. With my music, I couldn’t hear the volunteers calling out either “water” or “Powerade,” so I had to guess at stations. When I had guessed incorrectly (water) too many times, I started to worry about my personal Gatorade supply in my water bottle. I did one of the things that marathon experts advise against – I tried something new on race day. I tried Gu… and it worked like a charm.

I left the 3:35 runner in the dust at mile 17. I got a second wind, and I started repeating phrases to myself. “Make it hurt. Make December worth it.” [...] My smile was back.

[...]

Then I heard it: the familiar, deafening, bone-chilling beep of lost satellite reception. I looked down at my Garmin, and sure enough, the little UFO icon was blinking. I actually almost laughed to myself. This was a true test. Could I finish this in my time without the aid of the pacer or my watch? My watch timer was still going, so I noted the time as I passed the 20 mile marker. I kept reminding myself to stay in the mile that I was in. Beat the clock. Focus on these seconds… And that’s what I love about running. Beating yourself, pushing yourself to see what you’re capable of. Intense focus on a piece of the whole. Repeat. Mile marker 21 rolled by, and I checked the time. Perfection. I grabbed more Gu and took off.

[...]

We made a turn, and the finish line was visible. I started striding, unbelievably happy. [...] My music got soft, and I heard, “MK!” Whipping around, I saw Joe beaming and running toward the finish. I turned again and crossed the finish line with the biggest grin. I did it. Well, God did it. I qualified for the 2016 Boston Marathon [...]"

Blessings and Curses

But first! My current top 5 country songs:

Anything Goes - Florida Georgia Line
Cheap Seats - Dallas Smith
Real Life - Jake Owen
Sirens - Lee Brice
Crash and Burn - Thomas Rhett

I tell you these because 1) I'm obsessed with them, and 2) I've put them on my RUNNING PLAYLIST!

Yes, you read correctly, running. I was released from physical therapy last week (!!) and instructed to keep my runs between 3 and 4 miles until the pain goes away completely. Each run has moved me closer to negligible fatigue and farther from leg-dragging pain!

Yesterday, I ran outside at a normal pace for the first time in six months. I smiled the whole time; I felt as if I were flying. I pumped my arms and yipped a bit... I probably looked slightly insane.

You all know this feeling.

A little tidbit I learned from PT (disclaimer: this is one therapist's casual comment, not a medical certainty, but it's something I like to repeat to myself): When recovering and after being cleared to workout, feeling some pain is okay and common. What really indicates healing is how quickly the pain subsides after exercise. Last Monday, I ran three miles on the treadmill and was pretty much out of commission all day. Any movement hurt. Yesterday, I ran three and a half miles outside with much less pain during the run (like hardly any), and it went away in an hour. Progress, not perfection.

Now for the blessings and curses: summer and technology.

We all know summer running is hard. We all know summer running slows you down. I am thankful for these facts - coming back from an injury, I'm going to be slower due to lost fitness... but I can also look at my times and not feel SUPER down, because I know some of it is due to the time of the year! Yay!

The curse part? Summer running is hard, and summer running slows you down.

I use a Garmin and RunKeeper on my phone to track my workouts - sometimes one, sometimes both (I'm a little crazy).

All the gadgets!

I LOVE being able to look back at past runs! I love being able to give myself a little boost of confidence after viewing my stats from a hard run, and I love being able to see progress! But... while it's true that heat can slow me down, I can also look back at runs from LAST June and compare. Yikes.

I'm working really hard on not comparing. I'm pretty sure I've commented on that notion 39,233 separate times on ya'll's blogs. What I want to remember is that feeling I had yesterday - that smile, that mid-run fist pump. Wish me luck!

Any country music suggestions?
Anyone else a victim of comparison?

Progress, Not Perfection

Whenever I hear the phrase "progress, not perfection," I usually think of weight loss. I think about being on a quest for new, clean, healthy eating while dropping pounds and living by the 80/20 rule.

However, a quick Google search will show you that this phrase applies to a lot of areas in life...

... like business. Think about trying to hit it off with clients. Sometimes they'll take the bait, sometimes it's just not in the cards, but as long as you're making progress, you don't have to seal every deal you attempt.

Ha Ha! Memes!

... like music. I recently wrote a post on musical performance, and practice is a huge part of getting better (thanks, MK Obvious). When you go through pieces, you won't hit every note every time, but it's about getting better over time that teaches you the dedication and determination needed to succeed.

Oh, Mickey, you're so fine.

... even alcoholism came up on the search with "progress not perfection in recovery." I clicked the link, and the site offered some great advice:

"... it does not mean that people should not be trying to be the best they can be. The point is that perfection is too high a goal and that people should aim for something slightly less ambitious. If the individual make an honest attempt at overcoming their character flaws they will be moving closer to perfection, but it is not likely that they will ever fully complete this journey. Humans are fallible, and the only important thing is that they try their best."

But what I realized is that this phrase can be a handy thing to remember even with events out of our control. Like my injury.

I'll be honest, I've had the occasional frequent daydream that one day I'll wake up, and my body hips down will be healed forever and ever, amen. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. It's a process of healing; it's not a snap-of-the-fingers fix.

I used to get extremely upset if one day I was feeling a lot better, and then the next day was absolutely horrible. I only focused on the bad, thinking I had regressed, and I didn't take into account all of the good days - all of the times I stood up and felt less pain, all of the walks I took where the pulls and stings wouldn't be felt until much later in.

Too often I look at my life under a microscope and forget to step back and see the whole picture. I'm staring at the missing puzzle pieces instead of standing up and viewing the beautiful image that's forming.

I should be thrilled that I'm progressing and forget my unrealistic desire of waking up with a perfectly healed body all at once.

A week ago, I took a walk. Pain in my hip came on 20 minutes in and grew with the remainder of the walk. Yesterday morning, I took the same walk. I felt flares of soreness that quickly went away and stayed away. It wasn't perfect, but I'll be damned if that's not progress. And definitely worth celebrating.

Can I play too?

Typically, bloggers' weekly workout recaps give me slight major jealousy. If you are one of the, like, eight people that read this blog, you know why - my current injured state leaves my life void of running, so seeing your casual ten miler brings about self pity.

However, I've been keeping active in any way possible that doesn't aggravate my injury (big lesson learned the hard way... injuries don't heal unless you let them heal). And I want to join in on the documentation of exercise! Maybe this will be helpful in the future for someone who needs ideas on what to do (or not to do) during recovery.

Sunday 05/31
Attempted run. I say attempted because this was the run that made me realize I need to continue physical therapy. I walked/ran (let me tell you, these slow walk/run intervals are humbling when your stupid, earthly, egotistical mind wants to show the world you're a marathoner) for 28 minutes while dragging my right leg behind me. I cried the rest of the day as my workout. Crying burns calories, right?

Monday 06/01
PT homework and 45 minutes on the stair-climber. My PT homework can be found here. I have a love/hate relationship with most machines at the gym (except the treadmill). If I get into a groove, I love it, and I did on this day. I like to find songs where I can step to the beat on the climber, and country music usually hits the correct pace to leave me drenched in sweat 10 minutes in. I also pretend I'm climbing some unknown mountain. Usually at the end of a workout, I'll whip a flag out of my pocket and claim the stair-climber as my own.

Tuesday 06/02
I went to my NEW therapy on this day (yes, I was lucky to get an appointment within two days), so I wanted to keep it semi-light. I did this yoga video at home afterwards. My leg was still sore from Sunday's downfall.

Wednesday 06/03
I went to the gym before another PT appointment and did hip work, PT homework, and then I biked for an hour. Since my hips are the issue, I think strengthening them is going to help a ton. Hip adductor and abductor machines, while extremely awkward, give me that great leg burn (the good kind) and surprisingly don't hurt! In fact, they made it feel a little bit - dare I say it? - better. When it comes to the stationary bike, I keep things interesting by adjusting the resistance constantly. Wednesday, I picked an "easy," "medium," "hard," and "extra credit" level of resistance, and went up the ladder every five minutes. Once I got to "extra credit," I started over at "easy." Then I went to PT, and he had me run 1.3 miles after stretching me and pushing me and popping me and casting a spell on me, and I had significantly less pain... we'll see where it goes from here...

Thursday 06/04
I went rollerblading. While listening to the Chess musical soundtrack. Can we all agree I'm the coolest kid ever?

BuzzFeed

Friday 06/05
Friday I did one of my favorite arm workouts ever; I call it "Rock Arms" - not because my arms resemble rocks in any way, shape, or form, but because I always listen to classic rock while doing this workout. Grab your handy dandy timer and some lighter (but don't be a baby about it) dumbbells and:

1:30 minutes - hammer curls
0:30 rest
1:30 minutes - tricep kickbacks
0:30 rest
1:30 minutes - shoulder presses
0:30 rest
1:30 minutes - bicep curls
0:30 rest
1:30 minutes - side arm raises
0:30 rest

Repeat twice more for a total of 30 minutes.

I also did more hips and homework.

Saturday 06/06
Active rest - yoga at a local studio with a side of almost headstand and a dash of tanning in the backyard with some of Milwaukee's finest.

My one true love. Sorry, Joe.

Sunday 06/07
Hips, 45 minutes on the stair-climber, and 25 minutes on the bike. Country music and varying resistances were used as aforementioned.

Also, I now spend about 10 to 20 minutes foam rolling and stretching after my workouts.

Alrighty, guys...

Monday 06/08
I went to PT. Things have been getting better, but they aren't perfect. He pulled and poked some more and then said, "Go run a 5K. Come back in an hour." So I did... and there was pain, but not like before. I would not have done this if my PT did not give the okay. Fingers crossed, prayers prayed...

What do you like to do when your #1 workout/exercise routine is out of the question?

The "Good Thing My Dad Drove" Workout + Mild Displeasure

Yesterday I went up to visit my advisor at the school I'll be attending in the fall to PICK OUT MY CLASSES a;ldkfj;lkdasjflkjl. I'm just a little excited for August.

Good thing my dad drove, considering I still couldn't lift my arms from the workout I did on Saturday:

5 sets of tricep overhead extensions with dumbbells
5 sets of chest presses with dumbbells
5 sets of tricep dips
5 sets of stability ball push ups
5 sets of tricep cable push downs
5 sets of reps on the hip abductor
5 sets of reps on the hip adductor
2 x 1:00 minute Russian twists with a medicine ball

OH, AND NOT TO MENTION ALL MY PT "HOMEWORK:"

Clam shells
Resistance band walking
Planks on planks on planks
Donkey kicks
One legged clock squats - which are the coolest, shakiest things ever, and you can see a demo below!

Here's the section you can choose to skip if you'd like. I just need to rant.

I'm mad. MAD. PISSED. ANGRY. UPSET. And then I'm sad.

I have to continue physical therapy. I tried running over the weekend, just a little over two miles split with walking, and my right hip protested hard.

So yeah, I'm mad, and this is my blog, so here's my pity party.

A little humor from theBERRY before hashing it out.

I have struggled for months now to heal and get back to running. My original injury is virtually gone, but this stupid other side reared its ugly head. I feel like I am never going to even be able to run two miles without pain let alone Boston in 2016. It hurts to walk sometimes. I can't elliptical. Biking makes it tight. I thought I was out of this dark, running-less tunnel in early May until my other leg decided to become dead weight. I see no exit; I see no relief.

It makes me want to cry constantly. I have flashbacks to days when I'd crank out 13 miles before most of my friends were awake. I miss the feeling of empowerment. I miss the mind games played during hours on pavement. It also makes me want to never open my laptop... seeing all of the bloggers out there posting about their happy runs and training schedules and race excitement. Misery loves company, and none of you are my allies.

theBERRY

I have been praying constantly. I've also been yelling and cursing at God, asking Him why He's doing this to me. (Real mature, yeah). I can't STAND that He's not working on MY schedule.

I'm also humbled big time. And maybe that was the point of this whole thing... but then it's like, "Okay, got it now, HEAL ME, PLEASE."

Am I selfish? Yes. But am I honest? Yes.

I just miss running a lot.

Giphy

This is as much a reminder for me as it is advice for, well, me.

"Will it ever stop?"

This is one of the most frequent questions I've heard throughout my physical therapy stint. Frustrated, desperate patients would implore their therapists to tell them, "Yes, and here is the date."

It doesn't work like that.

I always love theBERRY's inspirational quotes.

Recovery is unpredictable, and we can't hold our therapists to their guesses or estimations.

I truly believe everything happens for a reason, even horrible sports injuries. I think the time it takes to heal, recover, get over, *insert verb here* depends on the time it takes us to learn whatever we were meant to learn from the situation. If we're not done with the circumstance, we haven't learned all we needed to just yet.

We should also focus on the journey, not the outcome. One of my favorite quotes is painted on a piece of wood I own:

"Happiness is not a destination. It is a way of life."

I'll be the first to admit I'm the guiltiest when it comes to wishing for endings. I want to hurry up and get to "the good part." Well, the adventure there IS the good part!

Past break ups have taught me to "smile because it happened" (I know, that's so cheesy). Lame jobs have taught me what I do not want to do with my life. My IT band issue has helped me learn to listen to my body, how to strengthen my core, and how to rest. I've learned to love yoga... and I've sort of gotten good (maybe?) at it!

I don't want to wake up one day when I'm 60 years old and realize that I was constantly wishing my life away.

Enjoy the now! Every bitter, horrible, beautiful, intense, happy, scary, worrisome moment of it!

...HOWEVER.

There are instances where I am quite the opposite, where I do not wish to be done with the process, and those instances are when eating.

I think we can all agree that THAT journey is ALWAYS enjoyed, and the end sucks.

Like my voyage through these boiled shrimp and delicious salad!

Or the conquering of this oatmeal with jalapeno cream cheese and peanuts. Mmmm.

Do you ever find yourself wanting to be through with something?
What's your favorite dish you wish would never end?

Gee, thanks a lot... But really. Thanks.

It all comes back to Him.

But first! A look into what I like to call "getting your money's worth."

This morning after an intense Bikram sweat sesh, I dripped my way to the nearest Starbucks for some refreshment. Raise your virtual hand if you are familiar with the Protein Bistro Box. If so, you know that contrary to the picture on the website, the peanut butter comes in a baggie.

Normal people may squeeze what they can from a delicate little corner hole.

NOT I. Exhibit A:

Between this and my poached egg eating habits, I don't know what's more embarrassing awesome.

Hokay, let's get to it.

God. He's pretty cool, and He doesn't hesitate to tell you what's what. A few days ago, I told you all about how I really hope my hip issue goes away now that my IT band is feeling better. It's not (well, it might be, and I might just be feeling post-foam rolling soreness, but that's besides the point).

"Proof of Foam Roll," circa 2015

I'm a sucker for signs, and I truly believe God speaks to us all - we just have to listen and be open to what He has to say. Last night, I was playing around online - whaaa? a blogger online? UNHEARD OF! - when my Facebook feed refreshed, and a friend had posted a lengthy status about why we experience weakness and suffering.

My dears, allow me to point you to 2 Corinthians:

"...but about myself, I will not boast, except about my weaknesses [...] Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me [...] to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ, for when I am weak, then I am strong."

We are nothing without Him. He gives us our abilities, and He can take them away. We are given sufferings to remind us that we need Him; we need to call upon Him and trust Him. We cannot get cocky with our accomplishments or "personal" achievements, because they all come back to Him. We are not self-sufficient (as much as we'd like to believe so).

Lord, thank You for the gentle reminder that I need You always.

No questions for this one. Just reflect, and happy Monday.