Lies & Triggers & Bragging - Oh, My!

Please know that with this post, it is not my intention to call anyone out, hurt anyone's feelings, or critique anyone's blog. This is just something I do (or rather don't do) for me, and I wanted to get it off my chest.

There aren't really any numbers here on She's Going the Distance.

Running success is measured numerically - like any sport, really - and primarily with speed. The winner of any race has his or her net time noted, world records require the fastest time, and some races hold speed-related entrance criteria.

Then there's weekly mileage (number), races completed (number), years running (number)... you see my point.

I've noted some distances during my recent return to running from injury, and my Instagram has some Garmin/RunKeeper pics on it (but that one's going to stop).

"And why?" you ask. Comparison. And mostly comparison of myself to myself.

There are many times I want to post my race PRs and my training run stats. I honestly sometimes feel that if I had those numbers documented here, I'd be more respected as a runner and a blogger. I occasionally want to join you who have your personal bests written down the side of your home pages; I want to brag about numeric accomplishments of which I'm proud.

Then I'll have a bad (read: slow, read: THIS IS INJURY-IN-THE-MAKING THINKING) run and be thankful I don't because I wouldn't want to post it. But isn't that a lie of omission? Aren't bad (cough-slow) runs just as important as the good ones and deserved to be included? Runs have feelings, too.

Please know: I don't think being a fast runner is the one and only way to be a good runner... not one bit. This is my own being hard on myself stupid thinking. "Slow" and "fast" are so relative to each, they aren't catch-all words. Again, this is MK's voice to MK.

Also I'll see someone else discuss a faster run or a higher mileage week, and I'll be triggered to compare. I'll sometimes feel lesser and unworthy - and it's no one's doing but my own.

So I keep speeds off my blog. I'll most likely keep talking (briefly) about distances (I mean, I'm "going" it, aren't I?), but I don't want to include times.

Remember this feeling I talked about? That's how I want to differentiate a "good run" from a "bad run." As mentioned, only caring about speed got me hurt and set me out of the game for months. In an effort to remove this unrealistic importance, I'm attempting to refrain from making it an aspect on my blog. The time it takes to run a mile shouldn't determine if you had fun during that mile.

If you post your times, your goals, your bests, I'm so proud of you! I applaud your confidence and your success. I just don't think it's a good choice for me.

SORRY FOR THE LACK OF PICTURES! ;)

PDH

What is PDH, you ask? Pretty. Damn. Happy.

Here are some MK running updates:

Last weekend, I ran my first run without pain. It was 3.5 miles on the treadmill with Joe sitting and watching in a folding chair in my basement. I was ecstatic. And he's an amazing boyfriend.

Like a race spectator, except not.

Tuesday before leaving for my family vacation, I ran 6 miles outside. Now folks, this is the farthest I've run since my BQ in January. And once again, it was WITHOUT PAIN! I don't know what felt better - crossing that finish line or finishing this run... (okay, you caught me, it was crossing that finish line [honest blog]).

After the endorphins wore off, the over-analyzing set in. I had taken Ibuprofen that morning prior to running. I was EXTREMELY concerned that those pills were the reason I felt no pain - not because I was actually healing. Trust me, I know the issues that arise with taking anti-inflammatory meds before working out, including blocking important pain receptors needed to know if you're injured and to warn you to stop. Silly MK.

Well anyway, I decided I was going to run again on Friday and make SURE I did not take any drugs.

Enter second concern: upping distance.

Do I want to run 14 miles right this very minute as I'm typing this? Yes.

Do I need to realize I haven't run these ANY distances in months thanks to nerves, hips, and IT bands, and do I need to increase my mileage slowly? Yes and yes.

Enter third concern: speed.

So, humble brag, I'm thrilled with my speed. Thrilled. I've apparently not lost that much, and even with the addition of summer heat, I'm performing really well. Hmm, okay MK, the reason you got hurt in the first place was because of your tight IT band from always wanting each run to be faster, faster, faster. Cool it on caring about the speed.

Subtract concerns two and three.

Friday came around, and I was nervous as hell. I went out...

...and ran without meds and without pain.

4.15 miles for the 4th of July weekend of 2015 (ha, get it!?)

I'm PDH x 19,020,238,230. And the praise goes to God.

Tell me about your return from an injury!

Two for the Price of One

I had two topics in mind that I wanted to discuss this week, and both have enough weight to them that they could be their own blog posts... but I got antsy, so here's a BOGO deal from me. You're welcome.

First up - vacations and exercise.

Like many of you, I'm traveling for the 4th of July holiday. I'll be hanging out with my family (parents, grandma, cousins, aunts, etc.) for about a week, starting tonight. While I'm basically already on an extended vacation until graduate school begins in August, I'm still excited for a week of tanning, relaxing, drinking, swimming, and being with family in a new location.

However...

You can feel the "but..." creeping up behind you...

This means no accessible gym. No machines. No weights. And all around more difficultly in fitting in exercise.

There was once a time in my life where this would be a SERIOUS problem. While it still causes me discomfort and a little anxiety, I'm much better about going with the lack-of-routine flow. I know I can fit in makeshift circuits when I don't have equipment (like the one here), but sometimes I'm left feeling like I sort of half-assed my workout.

It's so much more important to spend time with your loved ones than obsessing about your fitness. Trust me, I've returned from vacations in a cloud of regret, wishing I had spent thirty minutes laughing and playing cards with my aunts rather than huffing and puffing about "feeling lazy." 

Maybe this is extreme, but think about it - when you die, do you want your tombstone to read "Great Daughter" or "Great Legs?"

Next up - relationship with God.

As I've briefly mentioned, I have a Bible that's sectioned to take you through it in two years. I just finished.

Throughout the whole thing, my daily reading reminded me about His love for us. It reminded me to pray, to always think about Him, to thank Him, and to consider what really matters. I had this thought that as soon as I finished, I'd be struck with such knowledge, such Biblical wisdom, that I would do what was right more often than not, pray hourly, and show my love to others on a much greater scale.

Yeah, not quite.

Actually, the opposite has happened. As soon as I closed Revelation, it's like I closed my relationship with God. My daily reading was my meditation, my habit-former, and in its absence, I've forgotten all that I've learned. Horrible, but honest.

Don't worry, guys - I plan on starting a new devotion program in order to keep up this relationship. I could tell that I was so much happier when I was talking with Him constantly and when I was loving others the way He loves me. I hate that I've forgotten, but I'm grateful that He's reminded me.

How do you deal with traveling and exercising?
For those of you who are religious, do you ever push God aside?

Being the Middle Man - er - Workout

We live in a world that oftentimes works in black or white.

The answer is yes or no; situations are good or bad.

As a mathematics undergraduate, I loved definitive answers. You knew whether you were right or wrong. Huzzah binary choices!

Ahh, but life isn't this simple.

On the blogosphere, we console each other with "oh, not every run will be a good one..." and congratulate each other with "awesome workout!"

What about when your exercise for the day is neither good nor bad but sort of both? What about when it falls in the middle?

How do you react when your workout is mehh?

I struggle with this from time to time - it wasn't a good workout, but you can't consider it as one of the "bad" ones because it really wasn't crappy. Does that make sense? Sometimes I think that I might as well mark it off as a rest day, but then I consider the fact that it wasn't rest, and believing (or pretending) that it was and nixing a REAL rest day could lead to injury. Then I think I should do more to make it "worthwhile," but that could also lead to an injury from doing too much when your body doesn't want to. Over-analyzing, eh?

Yesterday, my legs were uber sore from mad ellipticalling and squats. I knew I wanted an easier day, preferably upper body, so I did a little makeshift arm circuit workout at home. I didn't have time to go to the gym due to other plans (hello Swedish massage and baseball game!), so it had to be quick.

Side note: That was the best massage I've ever received. Not only did he help work out my kinky hip, but he put a warm eye mask on me that smelled like oatmeal. You all know how much I love oatmeal.

Unfortunately, I ended my workout feeling as if I hadn't done anything at all. I was a little discouraged; I didn't have any endorphin high, and my arms weren't sore.

If only this could be my excuse.

Later, I stumbled upon this BuzzFeed post that quotes:

"Glorifying pain leads to more injuries, inconsistent results, and a very limited understanding of what it really means to harness the body’s power.

Learning how to balance high-intensity workouts with moderate and low-intensity workouts is a crucial skill for creating a balanced, sustainable program.

—Jonathan Angelilli"

I know low-intensity is an important aspect of training. I know that... but what about the mental satisfaction that was lacking from this workout?

My dad has a favorite saying: "It is what it is."

Accept it, learn from it, mark it in your "DO NOT DO" exercise list, and move on.

Easier said than done.

How do you deal with mediocre workouts?

Hi, I'm MK, and I'm an Over-Analyzer.

If over-analyzing had been a college major, I would have been valedictorian.

I over-analyze everything - from did I really need that second cup of coffee? I don't want to screw up my nervous system! to I can't believe I said "bye" instead of "GOOD bye..."

Recently, I've been over-analyzing my future running and all that comes with it. With the amazing healing that I'm so thankful to be feeling currently, I've picked out three possible half marathons in order to choose my "comeback" race, so to speak. All three are in the same general location, spread out by a few weeks - one is October 10th, one is on the 17th, and one is on the 24th.

I'd need to start training earlier for the one on the 10th. I don't have a base yet! But I didn't really have any sort of base for my very first half... my training was my base, and it was great! But that was before you really did any sort of specific workouts, MK. You weren't concerned with speed or strength, you just ran. 

The one on the 24th is a trail race. You primarily run on streets, MK! You won't be prepared! But the site says it's a good trail race for those who don't do them often... Plus this gives me a way to NOT worry about speed since trail races are slower. I don't need to worry about paces. That's what got me hurt in the first place! 

The frustration is real.

Maybe I should find one in November? No, I want a good mental break from keeping up with a training plan before Boston training. But I don't want to rush into a race! But I want to race!

What if my training plan for this half doesn't work? What if I get hurt again? No, no, I've done many halves using this plan and was fine. Maybe I should add more distance to the three-a-week runs? You didn't for the past several years, if it ain't broke don't fix it. But I did break! But you broke at marathon distances...

I need new shoes. *Insert mother buying me two pair of New Balances here.* But what if I shouldn't be running in NB!? No, I've always run in NB - except this past cycle when I got hurt in Brooks! Well, it's not the shoes' fault you got hurt, it was your "balls to the wall" mindset... But shoes are important!

I sound like Gollum from Lord of the Rings.

My precious...

I finally settled on the October 24th trail race - plenty of time to train, and different, slower terrain. Rhymez.